How to develop your self-leadership to be a good leader

An integral part of management, self-leadership is a skill to be cultivated in order to be an authentic and effective leader – and therefore perform better. This was the topic addressed at the EDHEC Alumni Leadership & Management club (formerly HR Club) by Sylvie Deffayet Davrout  at an online event. Sylvie is head of the Leadership & Development chair at EDHEC, with the role of leading a collective process of reflection on managerial progress. An opportunity for us to delve into this question in more detail.

What exactly is self-leadership?

Whereas leadership is the capacity to oversee others while developing relationships of influence in order to reach a shared objective, self-leadership is the capacity to influence oneself. Charles Manz was the first to use this term in 1983 to define one’s ability to motivate and steer oneself towards achieving one’s ambitions. Above all it is about knowing oneself in order to identify one’s desires and make them a tangible reality. It really means understanding what you do, why and how. 

“if you can identify your own beliefs, you can gain power over yourself and therefore others” .

Sylvie tells us that “learning allows us to change some of our representations or beliefs about the world”. Not straightforward when you consider that “belief” is the most rooted and stable notion in any one individual. Developing your own leadership therefore amounts to questioning and revising your beliefs. These come into play at different levels, in particular in your relationships with others as a leader: your positive or negative view of yourself and your legitimacy, what you think about those under your leadership, how you perceive the quality of your relationships with others, etc. All of these beliefs are the bedrock underpinning your leadership. 

The 4 emotions on which to build your self-leadership  

 Anger, fear, sadness and joy: each of these emotions has a role to play in advancing your self-leadership.

1. Anger: an essential source of energy for any leader

An energy that can drive transformation – it is the primary tool of a leader. Anger often arises when change is necessary or a value close to your heart is not respected. It is therefore important to identify the values which in your eyes are non-negotiable: honesty, integrity, loyalty, etc. In contrast to aggression, anger can be healthy, allowing you to assert yourself, lay down boundaries and reorganise – essential skills for any leader. 

2. Fear: excellent counsel

An energy to protect yourself and protect others, one that avoids risky behaviours. It is up to the leader to ensure the physical safety of their staff and to protect the performance or image of the firm, a budget or strategy, but also their own self-confidence, health and well-being. Unlike anxiety or panic, fear allows us to handle a situation. It is therefore necessary to be able to pin it down, whether it stems from a negotiation with a client or the need for additional resources, etc. 

3. Sadness: have the courage to welcome it so you can cross to the other side 

An energy one must live through so as to mourn that which is coming to an end and find meaning. It connects you to loss and its irreversibility. By encouraging you to be aware of that which you held dear but is no longer, it brings you detachment from a desire, project, team, relationship or professional identity ... so you can accept the end of one thing and open up to what comes next. In this way it helps you capitalise on your experience and your failures. Sadness also invites empathy, mutual support within a team, which is important in any organisation. As Sylvie points out, “in companies today, not asking for help is to act irresponsibly”. No leader can be equipped with all skills, and so must be able to rely on competent people. 

4. Joy: to be savoured and shared without moderation 

An energy that connects you to your vitality, joy allows you to transmit knowledge and experience, to give life and appetite to others. It is an entrepreneurial form of energy, one that serves to demonstrate and share your optimism, give thanks, congratulate and celebrate. It is a way to embody your leadership by drawing on authentic values.

Properly identify the problem so you can move forward 

 Self-leadership is therefore about freely establishing one’s own direction, being responsible for the objectives to reach and the path that leads there.  

To do this, it is essential to identify a need, an area in which you wish to progress as a leader or a difficulty you may be facing.

Sylvie identifies the following steps, which should be integrated into your routine for 10-15 minutes a day:

1. Formulate your key challenge as an open-ended question. For example: How can I recreate commitment within my team remotely so as to maintain high levels of collaboration and performance?
2. Collect information and data. For example: Talk to each team member, issue a questionnaire, observe interactions between team members, share your questions with your peers, read up on the subject using multiple different sources. 
3. Write down your challenges using a diary format. Writing down what comes to mind will bring clarity as a leader and help you have an honest conversation with yourself. 
   1. Look back at your notes regularly and reorganise them, adding details as necessary.
   2. Share your thoughts with others. Challenging your ideas is a way to enrich them and to enrich yourself at the same time.

The best leaders are those who manage to establish a daily routine by making an appointment with themselves lasting 10-15 minutes each day. 

6 pieces of advice to formulate the question that will give you the power to act 

1. Begin your question with the word “how” to pave the way towards action.
2. Include “I” or “we” to embody your leadership and have a stake in the question.
3. Use a verb of action, the most tangible possible.
4. Avoid abstract concepts or words.
5. Specify the context and situation.
6. Include the word “for” in your question because a leader is someone who WANTS. 

Draw on your emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is essential for any leader, for by shedding light on what we want, emotions are intuitions that drive us to act. Sylvie says they are “an essential resource for self-leadership”, urging dialogue with oneself. And so she encourages you to identify the emotion most closely linked to your question. Is it anger, corresponding to a need for change? Fear, reflecting the need to preserve or protect something? Sadness, spurring you to move on? Or joy, a tool with which to transmit knowledge or convince others? Understanding your true question is the surest way to work out the best solutions by yourself. But make sure you formulate a simple and operational question, otherwise you’ll be stuck in vagueness and powerlessness.

So self-leadership is an ongoing endeavour of self-development, requiring you to draw on your emotions and ask the right questions in the right way. 

Don’t hesitate to reach out to the Leadership & Management club about the best way to develop your leadership and self-leadership. The EDHEC community is on hand and invites you to take part in other upcoming events and webinars, which you will find in our calendar!